"My king-size bed makes me really well set-up for threesomes. Now all I need is two other people and some self-esteem."
"I pitched a book once, which was my version of the Bible. On the front page it said ‘Do things that you like but try not to hurt others!’ and then the rest of it was just pictures of hot boys holding puppies. I actually pitched that to a publishing company. They did not say yes."
Josh Thomas (via theladsofcourse)